The News of the Weak

I gotta ask...

At what point does it end?

This week has been one to go down in the books as fairly teeming with moral turpitude. From Britney Spears to Lindsay Lohan; Paris Hilton to Nicole Richie; Michael Vick to Barry Bonds; Tim Donaghy to a tainted Tour de France - it seems that the backbones of American culture are heading down the drain.

Stars we once adored and games we once loved will never be the same again.

While I understand that we are all, in fact human, this drive of each celebrity and super athlete to be the best, has taken over the reasons we loved their respective professions.

Who will ever trust the outcome of a basketball game again? Is the Tour de France winner just another blood doper? Will anyone recognize Barry Bonds as the legitimate home run record holder? And, while Michael Vick's conduct is abhorrent, he may only be the tipping point in the multitude of the NFL's scandals (hint: The Vikings Love Boat).

And, this is to say nothing of Hollywood. While commentators blame "Young Hollywood," it goes well beyond that. There have been numerous stars, both young and old, arrested for drunk driving this past year, including those lesser known and photographed. And this is not a recent phenomenon.

Does anyone really like the taste of gun metal?

Do stars like Britney Spears, Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, and Nicole Richie simply ask for it? Is it a need for attention or the only way they know how to cry for help? Alcoholism isn't new to the scene and I bet that most people reading this can name more than a few individuals who have been collared for a drinking and driving charge. And, in the defense of young Hollywood, if someone had told me I had a drinking problem when I was twenty-one years old, I would have laughed in their face.

When it comes down to it, I really believe that - as the old adage says - money is the root of all evil. These young stars and athletes are making more money than most of us will ever see in a lifetime. I can't imagine what I would have done if I'd been a millionaire at the tender age of eighteen. Even back then, I remember thinking how worldly I was, and I hadn't ever set foot out of the Midwest for more than a few weeks. And I was still getting an allowance and a meager paycheck from Sam Goody. To know that you will always have the freedom to do what you want - and the means to do so - is not something that you or I will ever really understand.

And, who is going to stop these celebrities? Their parents have invested everything into ensuring their child's success. Either that, or they're too invested in their own careers (Read: Kathy and Rick Hilton, Lionel Richie). Even an athlete's parents will take anything they can get - remember Reggie Bush? Their children become their career, their means for survival and in turn, they become the perfect enabler. Having an a child complete rehab before she's even of legal age to drink is not the result of external forces. It begins and ends at home.

I will be the first to admit that I was a bit of a wild child when I was younger. I admit to drinking and smoking too much, a bit of promiscuity and dabbling in some illegal activities - and we'll just leave it at that. But, my parents were strict and punishments were always enforced. I had a curfew and my parents knew all of my friends and their parents as well. And, while I can't compare my life to Paris's or Britney's, I can tell you that I always had my mother's voice in the back of my head. Which is probably why I only lead a minor rebellion.

And, as for the athletes, we worship these people for their feats of "super-human-ness." Because they can do things that we, as average human beings, cannot. I could not hit a home run if someone forced me to and I know I couldn't ride a bike through the French Alps. But, maybe if I took some grown hormones or did a little blood doping, I'd be able to. Hey - I'm in pretty good shape! But taking steroids is exactly like rigging a basketball game. It takes away the competition and sport. It becomes nothing more than artificial. And, more importantly, it is disrespectful to those who set the record in the first place - I wonder what Hank Aaron thinks.

What makes this situation even more disheartening is that we, as "commoners" are engineered to look to these individuals as role models. Just today, there was an article in the paper about finding an abandoned kinkajou, the famous pet that Paris Hilton once owned. It just goes to show you how impressionable the public really is - Paris has it, therefore I must as well. Our news is saturated with the daily activities of these athletes and celebrities and their erratic behavior becomes acceptable. We have to realize that a Lindsay Lohan arrest and a Nicole Richie conviction isn't news - and it trivializes the real problems that people face. Their misdeeds shouldn't make the front page news. But, it's a vicious cycle. We read about celebrities and athletes because of the sensationalism their behavior causes and their popularity keeps them in the news. If we stop feeding the monster, perhaps it'll quiet down.

But, athletes and celebrites have their quest for immortality in common. Every generation wants to be greater than the last. But, on their journey towards fame and fortune, these individuals fall short of what made their predecessors great. And, while past generations weren't necessarily without their own scandals and addictions, their greatness and illustriousness came from their humanity. Not from human growth hormone or multiple DWI convictions and jail time. And, certainly not from rigging a basketball game or dog fighting.

My friends, Heather and Shan...

Tonight marks the fifth year that I have participated in Relay for Life. I never really understood the principles behind any of these cancer fundraising efforts...it doesn't make sense to try and raise a bunch of money only to get the right to walk around a track! But hey - I'm raising $2200.00 to walk sixty miles to fight breast cancer at the end of August, and I can't remember undertaking a cause nearer to my heart or having a goal I want to achieve so badly.

But tonight, I will walk for a different reason. My friends, Shandra and Heather, are celebrating their remission from cancer. Shandra has been cancer-free for four years, Heather has been in remission for two years. While this is worth a celebration in itself, I want to honor them for different reasons.

Shandra has been one of my best friends since high school. I still remember the day she called to tell me that she'd been diagnosed with cancer. I remember I'd just gone back up to school for Spring Semester my senior year of college, and she called to tell me the first day at my new job. I remember it was really cold out that day and I walked around and around the block, trying to digest the news that she was sick. I remember I drove back to see her that night and we went to a basketball game at our old high school. I remember the first time I saw her after she'd gone through chemotherapy.

But, what Shandra may already know, I remember her as an unbelievable inspiration. I remember her telling us about the "Drunkies in Doo-Rags" party she had to shave her head. I am still amazed that she was able to graduate college on time, completing her final semester while going through chemotherapy. I remember her refusal to wear a wig because she didn't want to look like she was trying to cover something up. But what sticks most in my mind is a conversation Shandra and I had when I was dropping her off at her house after a night when we'd had too many cocktails. I remember sitting in her cul-de-sac in Revere Court, and confessing to her how scared I was to be going through all this testing for multiple sclerosis. And now, several years away from that night, I can't believe how selfish I was. I was crying to someone who was in the midst of a battle with cancer and I didn't even have MS.

It was on this night that Shandra gave me the best advice I have ever received. She told me that, when it gets right down to it, you can only ever control your attitude and you have to give the rest of it all up. In that context, she was saying that you can only do so much - you can be proactive about your medical care, you can get the best treatment available and you can take good care of yourself, but at the end of the day, you have to realize that it's in God's hands. The only thing that we can control is how we perceive the situation. We can control only our attitude.

This advice has carried me through a number of difficult situations. Recently, I was able to tell Shan the impact her words had on me when she was going through another trying time and give her advice back to her. This kernel of wisdom has been passed between the two of us quite frequently since then as we have both experienced set-backs in recent months.

But, for those of you who are only reading about my friend, Shan...I wish you could know her. She is inspiring and confident in the most humble way. She doesn't judge and will listen to you, no matter what. I am so honored to have someone like her in my life and I am so proud to be celebrating four years of remission tonight!

As for my friend, Heather, we've only grown closer in recent years. While we were peripheral friends throughout grade school, middle school, and high school, she and I only got to know each other after high school. Heather was diagnosed with tongue cancer during the winter of 2005. Again, we went down to visit her shortly after she had undergone fairly invasive and intense procedures to remove part of her tongue. As she candidly describes her surgeries, "her leg is in her arm and her arm is in her mouth" - meaning that the doctors took grafts from her forearm to replace the tissue removed from her tongue and took grafts from her leg to replace the void in her arm.

I remember sitting around her room at the Mayo Clinic. Despite the fact that she couldn't talk, she was making jokes on her white board and seemed embarrassed about all the attention that was being given to her.

And again, she continues to inspire and humble me. While internally, I believe that she has her struggles, she has never let it show. She plows forward at a million miles per hour and never have I met someone who lives life more "in the present" than she does. Heather is empathetic and energetic. There's a scene in a Sex and the City episode where Carrie tells an affirmation and motivational speaker that her friend, Charlotte is "out there - more out there than anyone she knows" and that's exactly how I feel about Heather. She is out there, experiencing life from all corners. Being around her immediately makes life seem sweeter and even the most mundane of dinners turns into something exciting and interesting based on her flair for the dramatic and her ability to tell stories.

While it may seem unlucky that two of my friends have been affected by cancer, I really see it as a silver lining. We are good in a crisis. We can pull together and provide an absolute safety net for each one of us - and I can attest to this. As Shandra says, you can only ever control your attitude and your perception. So, tonight...I am glad to celebrate both of your successes!