The saddest thing...

I was reading about Heath Ledger and his untimely death. And while this is sad, in and of itself, there is a group planning on protesting his funeral for filming "Brokeback Mountain." Their leader is Fred Phelps, their website is www.godhatesfags.com. The members of the Westboro Baptist Church intend on protesting this funeral because, according to them, homosexuality is the root of all evil and that anyone who condones homosexuality is on the straight path to hell.

What makes me laugh is the irony in their protest. They plan on protesting the funeral of someone who filmed a progressive movie, but didn't they get exactly what they wanted? He's dead, and in their narrow minds, he's already serving his sentence. The fact that they need to cause more grief among the people genuinely affected by this premature death doesn't make anyone more sympathetic to their cause.

This group, if you recall, also protests the funerals of soldiers who have died in Iraq. They protest that these soldiers are fighting for a nation that doesn't burn gay people at the stake.

While I support the right of free speech, I wish that there was something that could be done to control it. It makes me so sad to think that there are people who disrespect our nation so much they protest the funerals of popular culture icons and those who fight for their right to protest even protest at funerals.

Bragging Rights

We have entered the days of bragging rights.

Minnesotans love to boast about how they can withstand subzero temperatures just to get that look of disbelief out of anyone not from this state. But, to attain that badge of honor, the right to brag, we must suffer through several days of frigid weather. I'm not even sure if there's a word to describe how cold it is right now. So, we have entered the days of bragging rights. The time of year when every Minnesotan silently curses the fact that they live in this state. It would be below us to say it out loud. But we are proud that we can survive in these temperatures and we are proud to tell others that we live in a state where it gets too cold to snow.

However, I am a true Minnesotan and I have the ability to brag about the Winter of 1996 when the Governor shut the state down because it was too cold. He told all Minnesotans to stay indoors because it was unsafe to be outside for a prolonged period of time. I distinctly remember that day. I was shopping at the Mall of America, in true Minnesota fashion.

In actuality, you can't tell the difference between -4 and -35. It feels the same. Really cold. But, just like animals, we adapt to our environment. We know that we should wear a hat, gloves, a scarf and a heavy coat. And, we can make a fashion statement while doing it. And we know, without ever watching "A Christmas Story" that you should never stick your tongue on metal in this weather, much less touch it without a gloved hand. We are the state of electric car starters and electric blankets.

However, every year, there are those who, unfortunately lose their lives to the cold in the same way that heat waves cause death in other states. And it's always the same story. An intoxicated person tries to walk home from the bar and becomes disoriented and passes out in a ditch. Because, as we all know, alcohol makes you immune to the cold. And there is an odd combination created of alcohol, cold, and its effect on everyone who chooses to drink it. I remember in college, not only would I get intoxicated, but I would choose to walk home, many times alone. I also used to be baffled by the girls who would wear tiny tank tops under their North Face jackets to parties. I really can't tell you which act is more stupid. There was a saying at my college that a student wouldn't get up with an inch of snow on the ground to make it to class, but that they'd walk a mile in a foot of it for a beer. And this was pretty much true. Thankfully, we didn't lose anyone to this phenomenon while I was in college, but it happens every year, without fail.

I always attribute these days as the reason that Minnesotans take full advantage of the summertime. I think that, because we endure this cold for so long, we appreciate the summer all the more when it actually comes. We try and soak up as much warmth and sun as we can before we all return to hibernation, hoping it lasts us through April. The sunshine cures our Seasonal Affective Disorder, the official name for "Cabin Fever," which by this time of year, every Minnesotan has suffered at least one bout.

In any case, it becomes a game of how long you can stay inside. And, with no end in sight to our cold, we come to rely on the creature comforts, such as a heated garage, a furnace and a gas fireplace.

A fortune

In an effort to start our lives together, Jeff has officially given up his apartment and moved in with me. We get mail at the same address now and our names will appear on all the bills. However, what he failed to tell me is that he has collected a fortune of junk from his bachelor days...and I mean a "fortune" of junk.

For example, he has collected thousands of DVDs and has a plethora of sporting equipment. Apparently, he plays ALL the sports and must carry enough equipment to field a team of ten men at any point in time. He also has enough work-out clothes to suit up an entire football team for a week at camp. And don't even get me started on the amount of clothes and shoes he has. Let's just say it's a good thing my clothes are smaller in size and in number than his are, or otherwise we'd never fit in my townhouse.

But, this has allowed me a glimpse of Jeff that I otherwise wouldn't see. For example, I discovered that he would rather purchase new clothing than wash his currently owned shirts, socks, underwear, and t-shirts. I also found that he did absolutely no cooking based on the lack of dishes and cookware which were moved to my place. His other loves include television on DVD and thousands of books on writing screenplays. He has amassed a fortune in four categories: DVDs, literature, attire, and recreational tools.

The question is where to put it all.