My friends, Heather and Shan...

Tonight marks the fifth year that I have participated in Relay for Life. I never really understood the principles behind any of these cancer fundraising efforts...it doesn't make sense to try and raise a bunch of money only to get the right to walk around a track! But hey - I'm raising $2200.00 to walk sixty miles to fight breast cancer at the end of August, and I can't remember undertaking a cause nearer to my heart or having a goal I want to achieve so badly.

But tonight, I will walk for a different reason. My friends, Shandra and Heather, are celebrating their remission from cancer. Shandra has been cancer-free for four years, Heather has been in remission for two years. While this is worth a celebration in itself, I want to honor them for different reasons.

Shandra has been one of my best friends since high school. I still remember the day she called to tell me that she'd been diagnosed with cancer. I remember I'd just gone back up to school for Spring Semester my senior year of college, and she called to tell me the first day at my new job. I remember it was really cold out that day and I walked around and around the block, trying to digest the news that she was sick. I remember I drove back to see her that night and we went to a basketball game at our old high school. I remember the first time I saw her after she'd gone through chemotherapy.

But, what Shandra may already know, I remember her as an unbelievable inspiration. I remember her telling us about the "Drunkies in Doo-Rags" party she had to shave her head. I am still amazed that she was able to graduate college on time, completing her final semester while going through chemotherapy. I remember her refusal to wear a wig because she didn't want to look like she was trying to cover something up. But what sticks most in my mind is a conversation Shandra and I had when I was dropping her off at her house after a night when we'd had too many cocktails. I remember sitting in her cul-de-sac in Revere Court, and confessing to her how scared I was to be going through all this testing for multiple sclerosis. And now, several years away from that night, I can't believe how selfish I was. I was crying to someone who was in the midst of a battle with cancer and I didn't even have MS.

It was on this night that Shandra gave me the best advice I have ever received. She told me that, when it gets right down to it, you can only ever control your attitude and you have to give the rest of it all up. In that context, she was saying that you can only do so much - you can be proactive about your medical care, you can get the best treatment available and you can take good care of yourself, but at the end of the day, you have to realize that it's in God's hands. The only thing that we can control is how we perceive the situation. We can control only our attitude.

This advice has carried me through a number of difficult situations. Recently, I was able to tell Shan the impact her words had on me when she was going through another trying time and give her advice back to her. This kernel of wisdom has been passed between the two of us quite frequently since then as we have both experienced set-backs in recent months.

But, for those of you who are only reading about my friend, Shan...I wish you could know her. She is inspiring and confident in the most humble way. She doesn't judge and will listen to you, no matter what. I am so honored to have someone like her in my life and I am so proud to be celebrating four years of remission tonight!

As for my friend, Heather, we've only grown closer in recent years. While we were peripheral friends throughout grade school, middle school, and high school, she and I only got to know each other after high school. Heather was diagnosed with tongue cancer during the winter of 2005. Again, we went down to visit her shortly after she had undergone fairly invasive and intense procedures to remove part of her tongue. As she candidly describes her surgeries, "her leg is in her arm and her arm is in her mouth" - meaning that the doctors took grafts from her forearm to replace the tissue removed from her tongue and took grafts from her leg to replace the void in her arm.

I remember sitting around her room at the Mayo Clinic. Despite the fact that she couldn't talk, she was making jokes on her white board and seemed embarrassed about all the attention that was being given to her.

And again, she continues to inspire and humble me. While internally, I believe that she has her struggles, she has never let it show. She plows forward at a million miles per hour and never have I met someone who lives life more "in the present" than she does. Heather is empathetic and energetic. There's a scene in a Sex and the City episode where Carrie tells an affirmation and motivational speaker that her friend, Charlotte is "out there - more out there than anyone she knows" and that's exactly how I feel about Heather. She is out there, experiencing life from all corners. Being around her immediately makes life seem sweeter and even the most mundane of dinners turns into something exciting and interesting based on her flair for the dramatic and her ability to tell stories.

While it may seem unlucky that two of my friends have been affected by cancer, I really see it as a silver lining. We are good in a crisis. We can pull together and provide an absolute safety net for each one of us - and I can attest to this. As Shandra says, you can only ever control your attitude and your perception. So, tonight...I am glad to celebrate both of your successes!