Count your blessings...

I never understood the phrase, "count your blessings." We say this to ourselves, and to other people when bad news is received as if to somehow lessen the blow. But, perhaps its when the best news is received that we should really take stock of all that we are given, and how lucky we all are, regardless of the trials that we face in our lives.

Yesterday, the doctor called to tell me that this tumor, the source of countless hours of sleeplessness, is benign. I don't have cancer. This news came on a pretty bad day for me. While I told myself that the only solution was to keep a positive outlook, I couldn't help but feel sorry for myself yesterday. I don't understand sometimes why all this stuff happens to me. But last night, I was sitting outside on my deck, feeling like the weight of the world had been lifted from my shoulders, I found myself considering all for which I am grateful.

Mostly, I am grateful for the people I have chosen to surround myself with. My girlfriends are the most unassuming individuals I've ever known. I've always thought that I could never do anything to change their perception of me. I could never say or do anything to make them like me less or not want to be friends with me. They're the ones that listened to me, who called me and sought me out to talk, who confronted me with the issues even when I didn't necessarily want to be. That kind of friendship is unbelievable. Oftentimes, I think that true friendship is not about the nights out and the parties, I think it's more about being there for someone when it really matters. It's about shared experiences. A true friend will want to share the experience with you, even if it's not always a good one.

I'm thankful for my family who, despite their repeated assurances, called me literally every hour to see how I was doing. And my mother, who would listen to me talk and cry for hours if I asked her to. My dad, who lined things up and formed countless plans of action just to be on the safe side, so I'd never be without a game plan.

And, most importantly, I'm so grateful for Jeff. He seems born to deal with this kind of stuff. He did his research and talked to people. He called me with jokes to make me laugh and didn't let me get down on myself, despite the fact that I really wanted to most of the time. I never felt like I was going through this alone. He was always there. Even when I kicked him out of the biopsy, he was there. He made me have fun, he taught me to golf, and he also let me cry and didn't try to make me stop. I truly never felt so loved by any person. I felt protected and safe. I knew that, no matter what the outcome, he was never going to leave me or let me go at this alone. He's not really a sentimental, so I'll stop...but, I am so thankful for who he is.

There are countless of other things that I'm so thankful for. Counting my blessings is an absolutely insurmountable task. But I love undertaking it.